Should I Take My Boyfriend Back or Buy a Pleo?

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My ex-boyfriend’s been calling me a lot, and I think he wants to get back together. But I don’t know – I’m thinking about just getting a Pleo instead. Here’s my logical analysis of the situation:

Pleo costs $349.

That’s a pretty solid chunk of change. But I spent $200 the day my boyfriend’s car got towed after he illegally parked outside the comic book store. And I can drop more than fifty bucks in just one night of buying him drinks ($9 Makers Marks, $6 Jim Beams once he’s too drunk to realize he’s no longer getting Makers Mark.)

Point: Pleo

Pleo has beat detection (allows Pleo to dance and listen to music).

Pleo wants to take me dancing! Well, point against Pleo – I fucking hate dancing. Sorry to disappoint, but who did you think you were in a relationship with? A USC sorority girl? Some two-cent stripper? Ellen DeGeneres?

Point: Boyfriend

Pleo does not have facial recognition, meaning he can’t tell you apart from others by face.

At first glance, I thought this would be a point for my boyfriend, but I’ve since reconsidered. When Pleo tells me “It’s dark in this bar, and I swear I thought the blonde with the D-cup was you,” I’ll know he’s telling the truth.

(Pleo is also much less likely to give me shit for going for that cheap joke.)

Point: Pleo

Pleo was engineered by a group of robotics specialists, animators, technologists, scientists, biologists, and programmers.

My boyfriend was “engineered” by a part-time mortgage consultant and a cocktail waitress on her smoke break.

Point: Pleo

Pleo has an orientation tilt sensor for body position and eight touch sensors (head, chin, shoulders, back, feet).

Irrelevant. What? What did you guys think I was gonna do with my Pleo? Sickos!

Point: Null